So as you are probably all aware, I hacked BZP’s database a few months ago, deleting the users info from all of their forums. You may also be aware that they managed to restore the main forums with a slightly outdated backup, but were not able to do so for the archives.

Now, before I deleted the tables, I took copies of them for myself. I have the files needed to restore the archives, and I’m willing to do exactly that, and make them available. However, this will not come without a price.

If I am going to restore the archives, I will require a 50mb zip file containing sexual images, videos, or fanfiction, featuring myself, kopaka, or any and all BZP staff members. The content can be of your own creation, or already existing. You do not have to work alone, either. However, enlarging image files huge to take up space or creating junkfiles is cheating. Remember, the content must be of a SEXUAL nature. Once the file has been delivered to me, and checked to make sure it is all A. Legitimate, and B. Arousing,  I will restore the archive’s database. If you really dislike what I’m doing, then now’s your chance to channel that into something productive, instead of writing me passive aggressive messages in my ask box. One more thing: I require this file within a week, or the deal is off.

EDIT: No duplicate images.

Let the fun begin!

A list of my sexual preferences to help with your task:

  • Kopaka
  • Sex in icy/cold locations
  • Pizza in copious amounts, consumed or applied to body
  • Piston Lubricant
  • Large axle rods
  • Kopaka
  • Thwarting injustice
  • "Animal Jam"
  • Dominant database takeover roleplay
  1. intrinsically-grey reblogged this from crack-jag and added:
    God, I love this guy.
  2. nokama reblogged this from crack-jag and added:
    THIS IS WHERE I COME IN USEFUL.
  3. crack-jag reblogged this from toa-kehuri and added:
    Ehh, I could go for some dominant kopaka stuff. Although, I would prefer the stabbing to be with his ice-cold man...
  4. makutamatata reblogged this from toa-kehuri
  5. toa-kehuri reblogged this from crack-jag and added:
    You have GOT to be kidding. Thwarting injustice? I suppose drawing Kopaka stabbing the one demanding smut in exchange...
  6. makuta-tobi reblogged this from crack-jag and added:
    CrackJag, you so crazy